TheTravellingMadwife

I know I’ve not done one of these for a while and, for those that care, I am sorry about that. I’ll try and do better. In my defence I have been predominantly working since I got to Australia so there has not been that much to talk about.

I’ll try and do a little recap of the last 4 months another time. For now I’ve just got a funny story to tell you all. Enjoy!

I’m currently on holiday in Cairns and, for those that dont know, Cairns is right by the Great Barrier Reef. There are loads of different tours you can do. Go on boats, go scuba diving and go Snorkelling. So obviously I booked one. I booked a full day trip out to Green Island including Snorkelling and a glass bottom boat. Sounds like a great day. I’ve genuinely been really looking forward to it.

The day finally arrived. I got up at dawn to get to the jeti on time for the boat. When i arrived at the jeti I realised just how big the boat is and just how many people were gonna be on it.

Now if you know me you know that although I seem really loud and outgoing, I actually hate new people and crowds, especially when I’m on my own. So I instantly hated it and felt incredibly uncomfortable. I facetimed my mum and dad (because I’m a 42 yr old child who still needs their mummy and daddy) and asked if it would be rude to just sit with my headphones on and read my book. FyI, thats exactly what I did. My mum actually said I should start talking to people and if they’re boring then I can listen to my music, I thought that was much more rude!.

I also turned up without a towel or a jumper so had to spend $120 on those, the jumper is cute to be fair, but thats another amount of money I probably didnt need to spend!

We arrive at Green Island (having only made friends with the old guy who works on the boat) and it is windy AF, there is a huge swell (I only learnt that word today) which means the sea is really rough and the waves big but also that the water is all murky and unclear because its ‘swirling’ around under the surface. Well thats gonna make the glass bottom boat a great investment then *sarcasm*

I make my way to the beach, there are few food places and rental places etc as you’d expect but nothing is open yet as we are the first boat to arrive. So instead I pay for 2 sun loungers and an umbrella. The guy asked if I wanted 2 and I said yes because I am antisocial and didnt want some stranger sitting next to me. He laughed and said he could not agree more, I think we became best friends!!

I had an hour to kill before I got on the glass bottom boat so I just set up camp and read some of my book.

The time came for me to go to the boat, I set off and halfway there realised I’d forgot my ticket so had to run back to the beach and then just got back to the jeti in time for the boat. Looking at the queue I thought this is good there is only about 10 of us on this boat, winner! I was wrong, so very very wrong.

There were 10 people on the boat, there was a family of 5 Chinese people, myself and then a German family consisting of the Mum, Dad, 8ish yr old son and then their baby, who decided to kick off screaming from the second we pulled away from the Jeti until the second we returned. 30 minutes of trying to hear the guide tell us what fish we were (vaguely) seeing, through the murky water, over the dulcet screaming tones of a bloody toddler!!! It was honestly the most calm and tranquil experience of my life *sarcasm*

I returned to the sanctuary of my 2 sunbeds and decided to read some more. I had 5 hours left on the island so plenty of time to do some snorkelling, no rush! I finished my book, which is equally great and upsetting. I hate finishing a book I enjoy, but also I didnt bloody bring another with me or my tablet so I had to read on my phone but I dont like looking like im on my phone constantly.

Honestly, why do I give such a shit what other people think!!!! I really need to work on that.

After about an hour I decided to go and get my snorkelling gear and bought a rash vest too, cos everyone else seemed to be wearing them and my swimsuit was not exactly family friendly (its impossible to have a family friendly swimsuit with boobs as big as mine). I then headed back to the beach to do some Snorkelling.

Now this is where the fun really begins. If you know me then you know I have an absolute crippling fear of open water! “What the ‘f’ did I buy a snorkelling trip for then?” I hear you ask. Well I clearly thought I was some adventurous world traveller who loves new experiences *sarcasm*. So I get the mask on, I attempt the flippers. How do you out flippers on elegantly? I sat down at the waters edge (instant regret when the sea washed half the sand bank right up into places there should not be sand!) to put them on but then couldnt stand up without looking like Aerial on Spice. So I ditched them straight away. Not the best idea considering I also HATE the feeling of sand on my feet (and anywhere else for that matter) and im terrified of what I might step on whilst walking into the sea.

Just a little caveat, I can hear you all asking. Angela, why did you go to the beach if you hate the sea, sand and crowds? Well thats a very good question………..

Anyway, I had a quiet word with myself, pulled my big girl pants on and walked into the sea, it was colder than I anticipated, and not as clear as I thought, there was also a lot of Sea Grass, none of this was helping my fear! But I kept going, I got to waist height. I put my mask on, put the mouth piece in, put my head under the water and swam.

I saw a fish (I should have mentioned Im also terrified of fish!) I screamed into the mouth piece and walked rapidly out of the sea, saying out loud to myself ‘That’ll do pig, that’ll do’. I snorkelled for a grand total of 38 seconds!!! And im so bloody proud of myself!

Maybe there’s a point to this story, maybe there isn’t but I just thought it might make you all giggle a little. Im pushing myself to try new things whilst im here, I keep saying if I can move across the world on my own then I can do anything. I most certainly CAN NOT do Anything!!

If you think this is bad, im doing a bloody skydive in 4 days………..watch this space!