TheTravellingMadwife

Ok, so full transparency this is a blod about my life with ADHD. The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Its gonna be an honest dive into what its REALLY like to live with ADHD! However this is MY story. This is in no way a reflection of anybody else’s experiences with ADHD because although society thinks its the same it could not be more different for those people who are effected!

So the beginning. I sometimes feels embarrassed to say ive got ADHD because you get responses like “doesnt that just mean you cant sit still” or “yeah I can tell, you are always so loud and excited” and my personal favourite “isn’t everyone a little bit ADHD”. Well im gonna let you in some insight that will hopefully set the record straight about me and my ADHD!.

Firstly, you can’t be a little ADHD. Its like any other neurological difference its either there or its not. Yes, people have ADHD traits, and yes some people may have different variations but ADHD has a profound effect on your life, it can be debilitating, it can literally stop your body and your mind from working properly. So no, quirky personality traits of most people do not make ADHD.

So yeah when im up, im definitely up, im the person who laughs the loudest and tells the animated stories and loves when people laugh at them, im the one who will dance in the rain and sing at the top of my lungs, im the one who will love you fiercely and im the one who will always be in your corner, even if its not always obvious.

But im also the one who cant walk into a room full strangers without feeling like they are all judging me in the worst possible way. Im the one who will cancel plans last minute because I have had the biggest anxiety attack but then will beat myself up for being a shitty friend and cancelling. Im the one that will rethink every word I said around new people incase I shared too much, or came across abrupt or rude or condescending. Im the one who always think she has done something wrong first. Im the one that will saty in bed all day because Im so overwhelmed by everything that I physically can not move, but ill spend that entire day thinking im a shitty lazy person who doesnt deserve anything good.

So you can see by now that its not all about being loud and fun and chaotic and excitable.

Having ADHD is overwhelming and exhausting, its also liberating and exciting. Often im just as surprised by what comes out of my mouth as everyone else is. 

I dont kmow why im sharing this, may even just to give a little insight, maybe so that next time someone tells you’ve they’re diagnosed ADHD you wont just assume that means they are loud and cant sit still. Maybe ask them how they are doing? Maybe ask them if they eanna talk? Maybe ask them if there is anything you can do to help? Because its a really lonely place having sometimes, especially when you think the whole world hates you and thinks you are shit.

Ill be breaking down some of the less fun areas of ADHD into other blogs over the next few weeks. Ive got a lot to say and it helps me, more than youll ever fully know, when I write it down like this.

So as always please be kind. If you want to read it great, if you dont then thats fine too.

Ange xx