TheTravellingMadwife

Ok, next instalment is pretty quick cos ive got a lot to fill you in on.

Lets get straight into it.

So, after having to change my flights it meant I had to go from Heathrow, starting with the train from Macc to Euston, you know, by myself, on the train, with 3 cases and a bag, all my worldly possessions, easy peasy! I actually thought it’d be worse but other than a few snooty looks as I was wheeling all my bags down the aisle of the train it was pretty straight forward. Im not stupid either, I booked an Uber from Euston, cos Fuck all those cases on the tube!

Anyway, I got to Heathrow 6 hours before my flight cos………well I dont know. The Uni girls will tell you im always early for everything but the Macc lot will tell you im always late so god knows what happened there……so I arrive at Heathrow, check in and get through security all within the first half hour! FFS! Now I’ve got a long wait. In the bloody airport and I’m starving. Well this is where my bloody delightfully gorgeous friend Laura comes into play.

Just as I was about to go through security I got a text from her saying I had a surprise in my email inbox…………she’s only gone and bloody paid for Airport Lounge access for my wait at Heathrow. I love her!

Ill come back the the lounge.

So the next 5 and a half hours went pretty quickly to be fair. Then I board my flight. It always makes me laugh boarding long haul flights cos they walk you through Business class, then premium economy and then you get to the cheap seats, the cattle trailer at the back. Its like back in the day when Jim Bowen would say ‘Here’s what you could’ve won’ (if you dont get that reference then shame on you)…..

So I get seated in my aisle seat. That I picked. For 16 hours. Well I might have messed up a bit! I only went and picked the seat right opposite the bloody toilet door, and I was sat next to the most stereotypical Chinese Grandmother who was lovely but didn’t speak or understand a word of English. The toilet queue kept me entertained and disgusted in equal measure throughout the flight as did the elbow in the side from Granny next to me…….you honestly couldn’t write this stuff. Oh wait. I just did.

16 hours later we finally arrived in Hong Kong where I had a 5 HOUR LAYOVER to look forward to.

Oh also, it was at this point that I realised all that meticulous planning and preparation to make sure I didn’t forget anything went to shit because I’d forgot my FUCKING PHONE CHARGER!!! I didnt realise till Hong Kong because Heathrow had free charging ports everywhere. No way was I buying a charger in Hong Kong airport. It’ll have to wait till I get to Aus, but I needed to charge my phone.

Now, im gonna take you back to the Heathrow airport lounge. So, the lounges that you can buy access to easily are delightful and much better than the cattle market that is the main waiting area however, they are not first class lounges. Id say they are like Premium Economy. The big benefit however is the FREE DRINKS AND FOOD! So obviously I ate my weight in Pasta and Chips and Bread!!!! All of the Carbs. That was the biggest surprise. There was no fruit anywhere. Nothing, not even a banana. Regardless, the seats are comfier, the food is free and there isn’t loads of kids running around and crying and generally getting on my tits!!. So whilst I was in Heathrow Lounge I was messaging my best friend (my only best friend if you ask her) Vicki telling her about the lounge and that delightful human being then decided to send me the money to book into the Hong Kong airport lounge. I flipping love my friends. They are pretty incredible.

So back to Hong Kong. I find the lounge and they have a charger, beautiful, I’ll charge my phone and have some food (not fruit though) and get a bit of sleep. Well as I was checking they gave me the even better news, that I could book a shower slot! Yes please! I can tell you now, I did not smell fantastic and a change of clothes would be bloody delightful. So that’s what I did. I ate all the food, drank all the drinks, showered, changed my pants and charged my phone. Then I went and boarded the final flight to Melbourne, just another 9ish hours.

This flight was a bit better, no toilet queue, no grandma and no elbows. Actually a lovely Australian man who wasn’t too bad on the eye but very happily married. Oh well…..

I kept myself entertained with the food, the drinks, the films and looking longingly at the attractive australian man whilst he slept…….

I didnt sleep at wink so that’s 36 hours in total that I was awake……I think I might be a bit tired when I get there.

Finally I arrive in Melbourne, 40 hours after leaving Macc and honestly I’m totally exhausted. Now ive just got the 45 minute wait for my bags to come out and then I finally get to see my cousin and Melbourne and everything ive dreamed of for so long……………..