TheTravellingMadwife

As I get older I have realised what is important in life and what you can kind of let slide a lot more. I pick my battles now and I make choices on how I’m going to react to something. I choose what and how I’m going the let effect me. But it doesn’t always go to plan.

New relationships are always a tester! They test how much you are willing to show early on and how much you are willing to take. We always try to put our best foot forward, but with ADHD it doesn’t always work that way.

People with ADHD can’t put there best foot forward cos we don’t know what that is, instead we go all in, brutal honesty from the start, this is me and if you don’t like it then that’s your problem. Except it isn’t there problem cos when they don’t like us we beat ourselves up about it, we say that we were ‘too much’ or that we came on ‘too strong’.

Well I’m calling bull shit!!

I don’t believe there is such a thing as ‘too much’, I still believe that the person who my ‘too much’ is Just Enough for is out there somewhere. But in the mean time I just wanna share a few things I’ve learnt over the last few days.

I am one of those people who will always give the benefit of the doubt, I’ll always give second, third even 20th chances. I’ll always try and believe that people can change, no matter how many times they prove me wrong, ill still always believe it, that’s just who I am. But something I’m not going to let happen is for people to walk all over or treat me badly. Not anymore. I’ve been there and I’ve done that and it takes too long to recover from.

When relationships end there is never a good way to do it but there is a very wrong way to do it.

When the only person who’s feelings you consider are your own…..that’s wrong!

When you do it at time that is difficult for the other person……that is wrong.

When you leave them at a time they probably need you the most…….that is wrong!

But actually it doesn’t matter if the relationship is ending or not all of the above is just not a nice way to treat another human being full stop. Especially someone that you are supposed to care about!

Obviously everybody’s feelings are valid and everybody is entitled and absolutely should put themselves first, but common human decency would surely prevail when someone is going through something very difficult and personal to them…….SURELY!!!

Well the lesson I’ve learnt is that apparently not everybody thinks that way. Not everybody cares for other people. Not everybody puts other people’s needs above their own even just for 24 hours. Not everybody understands empathy. And actually I’ve realised that that’s OK….it’s sad, but it’s OK.

I cannot hold everybody else to my own standards or expectations. I can only control how I behave, how I react and how I treat people. And I will not let anybody change the way I do those things.

Please don’t get me wrong. I don’t hate anyone for the choices they make. I don’t have any bad feelings towards people who have hurt me. I don’t wish anything but peace and happiness for them. I genuinely hope they find a way to be happy with themselves. But will I give that person another chance…………

I don’t know quite what the point of this particular post is but I guess I just wanted to get a few things out of my head. If you have felt like you aren’t good enough or that you have failed in some way because someone has rejected you then please just flip the perspective. It is more a problem on their end than yours. They are not ready for you, they don’t deserve you, they are not worth your time, worry or doubt. They will find the person that is right for them (maybe) and you will find the person who is right for you

I am now choosing myself!! I will not let someone make me think less of myself because they are not ready or able. It’s a reflection on them. NOT ME! I will not doubt myself, I will not question everything I said or did, I will not overthink every tiny little detail. I am proud of who I am, I love who I am and I am not going to change that because someone doesn’t turn out to be the person I thought they were.

Never settle for someone. Never just accept what they can give, cos it’s better than nothing. Always strive for someone that makes you feel as amazing as you are. Nothing less is good enough.

As always, love ya.

Ange xxx