TheTravellingMadwife

Ok, let’s talk mornings.

I am not a morning person!!! This is quite possibly the biggest understatement ever made!. OK, so I’m a bit dramatic but still, I hate mornings. Winter mornings especially.

When people ask you what do you do for fun? What activities do you like doing in your spare time? What are your Hobbies? One of mine is going to bed. I don’t go to bed only to sleep. Getting into bed is genuinely an activity for me. My bed is my favourite place on earth! What’s not to love? It’s warm , it’s cosy, you can relax. I love it. So when I have to get out of it I am not very happy.

When i wake in the morning it takes a few minutes to focus my brain, I have to shake off my sleepy state, process what has been dreams and what has been reality, try not to rush all the thoughts of the coming day in one go cos that would be super overwhelming. This can take a minute and often it’s disturbed by me falling back asleep……often!!!

So once I’m fully awake and ready to get up the thought process of getting up and getting ready starts. For most people they lie in bed and think I need to get up and have a shower and guess what? They just get up and have a shower..wtf!! How? I have a good 20 minute thought process to go through that involves how to avoid being cold, how to not waste time, annoyance at wasting time thinking about it, whether to brush my teeth before or after, what am I gonna do in the shower, like will it be a quick shower, or a full shower or a shower where I stand and stare at the wall for 20 minutes in a bloody trance!!!!! All of this is before I’ve even got out of the frigging bed mind!!!!

So i finally get up and get in the shower and it’s really nice in the shower, it’s warm and I feel clean and calm and relaxed, I’ll normally have music playing so I’m having a little sing along, I don’t wanna get out, cos when I get out I’m gonna be cold and I forgot to put my towel on the radiator so it won’t be warm, plus I don’t have a dryer so the towel isn’t soft and comfy, but I need to get out the shower cos I’ve got to get ready and go. So I reluctantly turn the shower off and get out. Now I’m cold, wet and have to get ready for the day!!! Urgh!!

These thought processes happen with every single activity that I face throughout the day. Some longer than others, some more complex than others. People with ADHD cannot simply do something…..it’s literally impossible. We think through every single step of that activity, weigh up the pros and cons of each step, think of alternatives to each step and at the end of the thought process we resent ourselves for overthinking everything. It’s a tiring and vicious cycle.

So this is a message to those people who are friends with, in a relationship with or just spend time with people who are Neuro divergent. Please don’t try and rush us, try and understand us instead. We may be stood staring looking like we aren’t doing anything but trust me when I tell you we are doing everything we can to move and do what we need to do. Be patient, ask if there is anything you can do to help, find out what our triggers are and also what our support systems are. Mine is music, it’s a huge motivator. If you want me to do something put a bloody good upbeat song on and I will be on it!!!!

It’s not always simple, it’s not always easy but it’s worth it in the long run. Especially in relationships. Understanding, patience, honesty, clear communication. All these things are only going to make life easier and make space for all the fun things that come with ADHD!!!!

So now I’m up, showered and dressed it’s time to get on with the next 20 million overthought activities that I have today. Wish me luck. Everyday haha!!

Love Ange xx